The Misconstruction of the LGBTQ+ Community

June 6, 2018 in inQueery

Many people are well aware of our LGBTQ+ community and the basics of who it may consist of.  Within the community lies an unfortunate amount segregation that the ordinary Joe might not expect.

After many personal and 2nd hand experiences, I’ve come to the realization that many of the people I personally know or based on stories I have read through various mediums, we feel like we don’t belong. Because of that, I’ve experienced many LGBTQ+ people in my life like friends and co-workers, etc. who frankly give up on finding friendships, romance, or even their casual rendezvous with whomever they’re attracted to within our community and are completely discouraged. They settle in their own ways and call it a day. Hey, I’ve been there. In many ways I’m terrified of that feeling. However, I don’t think that it is a lost cause.

The segregation, I believe, comes from a huge judgmental feeling placed upon us for not always being made feel like we’re a part of everyone else. We find our comfortable place and build upon that. Groups within groups within groups and us not remembering that we actually all fall under one category because were brought down enough as a whole anyway. Just because we have our subcategories, doesn’t mean that the most different of them can’t get along. We’re so quick to shut out others that it becomes hard to know where we belong. Many people have told me that they originally imagined a welcoming feeling in a place like a gay bar, but were quickly showed otherwise. Safe places don’t always feel like said and that is completely dreadful.

For some reason, standards to even get along with other fellow LGBTQ+ are set too high. Why do we have those standards? Why don’t we support each other more instead of bringing each other down? Why is it that we can’t treat each other with more acceptance and tolerance within this group of our people? Why is it that we’ll all hardly stand up for us LGBTQ+ people as a whole but when it comes to defending subcategories or subcultures we can’t happily do so? Are we all just a bunch of hypocrites or is it a lot more complicated than that?

No fats, no femmes, no Asians, the misunderstanding of the trans community, bisexuality doesn’t exist, judging people’s kink and leather communities, masculine men thinking they’re superior, people believing feeding into the stereotypes, the list could go on forever…

Those are all things that we as an entire community should be more aware of because being aware, after all, leads for calls to action. I want to be known for being a part of an inclusive and loving community of people, not for being a part of a judgmental and subconsciously segregationist and hypocritical community. This misconstructed community is living in a climate where this is the last thing necessary with the amount of progress that has been made so far. We shouldn’t separate each-other—we should help build and keep each other up and together.

In reality, this sub-categorizing within a community can be applied in so many groups of people, which is something extremely diverse and difficult to even examine. But this is what I know and things I’ve heard my people talk about I thought that if at least one more person reads this and gains at least an ounce of awareness to open themselves up to more it could make at least one of our lives life easier and you never know when a chain might form.


Pete Mancilla is a Visiting Writer at InQueery.  This post first appeared on his personal site, Enigmatic Blue.